Delivery Room Playlist and The Hospital Room

I have been in our hospital room a couple of times through tours or false labors (better to be cautious and wrong than not and something bad happen, right?), and I have to say that it is going to be a pretty good experience as the dad.  The stereotype for fathers is that it is an uncomfortable two to three days.  Hard couches to sleep on, no food and tons of beat down.  I can say, at least for our hospital, this will not be the case.  The fold out couch is pretty comfortable, and I'll be dammed if they don't feed me all meals!  I got to taste one of said meals during one of our false labor experiences.  I was sitting in the room and a nurse brought in a tray of food for me.  I hesitated as I lifted the top to find pasta and sauteed mushroom which looked pretty good.  It turns out that it tasted just as good as it looked.  Apparently my hospital employs gourmet chefs, which is good, because I like food!  Not only that, but free food!  And when that free food is tasty? HEAVEN.

As we get closer to the miracle of birth, you have to start getting things in line.  The wife has gotten her hospital bag ready filled with clothes, toiletries and a taser to zap me when she is annoyed with me (THE WHOLE TIME).  She has the bag for the baby that included clothing and diapers.  My bag will include a change of clothes and, if I can sneak it in, an XBOX (HDTV in the room FOR THE WIN!)  One important thing that we have yet to fully plan for is our music playlist.  Music is important to a person's life in many ways, and a perfect playlist can be the muse that helps my wife push through the pain.  So taking that into consideration I have been thinking about the playlist, and I believe that I have come up with the perfect list.  Please feel free to copy this list, I am doing this as a service to you!

Party Hard - Andrew W. K.:  It's all about first impressions and how you start.  You need something to set the mood for the moment.  And to me, nothing says "Let's do this!" like a crappy hardcore party song.  Music that will make you want to run your head through a wall.  And since your baby will be pushing through a "wall" so to speak, it makes perfect sense to use this.

Lyric that means the most for the birth and why:

Cos we will never listen to your rules (no)
We will never do as others do (no)
Know what we want and we get it from you
Do what we like and we like what we do

Obviously your child will eventually hate you and won't do what you say!


November Rain - Guns N' Roses: I know what you are saying, "Mitch, this song has nothing to do about child birth, and the music video shows Axl Rose's wife dying!  What gives!"  Yes, I get it, it has nothing to do child birth, and it isn't a very upbeat song.  But how can you not include a song with an epic Slash guitar solo?  I have wonderful dreams of waiting until the moment that my baby comes out, and then jumping into the middle of the delivery room ripping my button down shirt open.  Someone on the far side of the room turns on a wind machine, I pull out a Les Paul out of nowhere and play the solo to November Rain note for note.  How cool would that be?  It is possible that I have issues...

Seriously, bad ass!

Lyric that means the most for the birth and why:

No lyrics, just straight up Slash shredding!

Never Gonna Give You Up - Rick Astley: Like Rick Astley: I'm never gonna give you up, let you down, turn around and desert you.  Make you cry, say goodbye, tell a lie and hurt you.  So if I am not going to do any of those, I might as well include the anthem for all things faithful and honest.  Now if I could find that dancing bartender from the music video to do the dance in the delivery room? PURE BLISS

He's never gonna give you up, so why would I?

Lyrics that mean the most for the birth and why:

Never gonna give you up
Never gonna let you down
Never gonna run around and desert you
Never gonna make you cry
Never gonna say goodbye
Never gonna tell a lie and hurt you

Words to live by!

Abbey Road Melody - The Beatles:  If anybody knows me, they know that I adore the Fab Four.  So there will be many Beatles songs on this list if I have a say.  So I will mention the Abbey Road Melody ("You Never Give Me You Money", "Sun King", "Mean Mr. Mustard", "Polythene Pam", "She Came In Through The Bathroom Window", "Golden Slumbers", "Carry That Weight", "The End").  How cool would it be for "Golden Slumbers" to be rocking out as the wife is pushing, and Ringo hits the drum fill to begin "Carry That Weight" as the baby comes out?  GREATEST MOMENT OF MY LIFE! Oh, uh...Well, second behind my daughter being born...sure...

Lyric that meant the most for the birth and why:

Golden slumbers,
Fill your eyes
Smiles await you when you rise
Sleep pretty darling
Do not cry
And I will sing a lullaby.

Nothing funny to write here, just straight up encapsulates my feelings for this event.(AWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW!!!)

Quote of the day:

Wife: "I want this baby out!  Mitch, tell your baby to come out!"

Me: *Akwardly to wife's belly* "Hey...co...come out Zoey.......Did that work?"

Wife: "I hate you" *walks away"

Days Left Till Due Date: 12!

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I Have Totally Lost My Man Card...And I Don't Care!

One thing has become incredibly apparent as the wife's pregnancy has gone on, and that would be my excitement for this event increases exponentially by the day.  I obviously do not yet have the bond that my wife has with our child that comes with carrying it for 9+ months, but my anticipation in creating my own bond is sky high.  Most of you know that we are having a girl.  When we first found that out all those month ago, I have to admit that I was slightly disappointed that we were not having a boy.  Most men feel this way I am sure.  We all want a boy that we can groom into a mini version of us.  Every man that wants kids wants a boy they can play catch with, teach to shave and teach that women are the spawn of hell.  Now that last one is technically not true, but you get the idea.  Also, most bachelors and even kid-less married dudes don't care about "cute" things, and "pretty tutus and dresses".  Really anything girly is not what men wonder about in day to day life.

I AM A MAN, AND I WILL ROCK YOUR FACE OFF!

But Fellas, it is with a heavy heart that I must inform all of you that, not only have I turned in my "Man Card", but that I don't care and fully behind having a girl!

THIS IS WHAT I HAVE BECOME!!!

It is an unfortunate transformation that I had no control over and there is no going back.  There are many examples that have happened over the last few months that I now reluctantly share with you, the sweet dirty reader:

1.  I have a dresser that was a manly blue color.  I took that dresser, and not only painted it, but also PICKED THE COLORS FOR THE DRESSER.  I also got mad when the wife told me that I had to wait for her to go to Home Depot.

IT'S SO CUTE!

2. After finishing said dresser, I immediately wanted to work on new projects to use more of the pink and purple paint.

3. I essentially took over the planning of the room layout.  This included all of the girly things I had already painted.  My wife, who is clearly in the nesting phase (go read a real parenting book if you want to know what nesting is), was mad that she has nothing left to do in the room.

4. My wife has to yell at me to STOP buying girl clothing.  We were incredibly lucky in that we received more hand me down clothing that anyone could ever hope to deal with, and yet I CANNOT STOP BUYING CUTE ONESIES!

5. I picked the outfit that the little one will come home with.  I bought it from the store BY MYSELF.  Guys, I don't think you understand how much that is the mom's decision!

6. I BOUGHT A ZOO!

7. Pink Whale Tub...Nuff Said.

Again, Nuff Said

Quote of the Day:

Me (to wife): "You know how the baby can hear the outside world? Can she hear this?" *farts angrily*

Wife: *shakes head, walks away*

Days to due date: 19

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